Anyone telling you ‘how to detach’ is a liar.
Not because they want to lie.
In fact they believe what they are preaching is working.
And it may be…
But the effect always fades away.
And you become attached again.
To everyone and everything in your life.
Isn’t it?
“The things you own, end up owning you”
It happens again and again.
Why?
Because your pain is not great enough.
The familiarity of attachment is too much to give up for you.
There is great comfort in attachment to people and things.
You see?
Detachment happens by itself once you have understood.
Let me repeat.
Detachment will happen by itself once you have understood.
It is NOT about a decision to detach.
The person who is able to detach doesn’t have a choice.
He or she doesn’t consciously say to him/herself to stop caring about the person or situation.
It happens when there is no other way.
When the realization is made that it is the ONLY way.
So anyone telling you a technique on ‘how to detach’ is a liar.
And anyone who follows the technique is unserious.
It is impossible to follow a process from someone else that will lead to detachment.
It can absolutely work temporarily.
You may feel an hour of relief or maybe even a day of calm, and peace.
But it can never last.
Because you have not UNDERSTOOD detachment.
Or better said, you have not understood the effect of attachment.
Do you see?
You are just trying to escape the pain you feel from becoming attached to the thing or person that is not there right now in the state you desired it to be.
Distracting yourself will sooner or later lead to attracting yourself again.
Escaping from it will keep you trapped in the same cage, you just find another prisoner to attach yourself to.
This might feel good at the start, because you are not attached yet, but soon you’ll find yourself chained in pain again.
So does reading this letter help?
Let’s be honest.
To most, it will not.
To the one who does, it wasn’t me who helped.
My words just hit a spot inside that person who already realized to some extend the EFFECT of attachment in their life.
Not because he should.
Not because of method.
Not because of me.
But because he realized.
For himself.
By himself.
And the one who does not.
Is okay with being attached.
And that isn’t bad nor stupid.
In fact, it would be ineffective for someone to try to detach if he prefers the comfort of attachment.
That person will struggle.
Experience self-conflict.
And waste time.
The serious person may realize that every person and every situation to which he became attached has only caused pain, unwanted negative emotions, or fleeting happy feelings.
Is there anything that lasted in your life?
You got attached to your phone 5 years ago, but now have a new one…
You got attached to your children, but they will leave the house…
You got attached to your grandpa, but he may be gone…
You got attached to the sun, but winter is coming…
Is there anything that lasted in your life?
Just like Alice in Wonderland, the rabbit hole goes deep.
In the movie and books, she tries to make sense of all the silly things adults do.
She goes on a journey and finds out for herself that it’s nonsense all the way down.
She rejects the adult world and shapes her own life instead of being shaped by it.
Just like Alice, the serious individual goes in the rabbit hole himself.
Instead of watching the movie and assuming it’s true.
Never believe anyone.
Never believe me.
You.
Yourself.
By Yourself.
Is the only way.
And ironically the way of detachment.
Think about it: “When were you most detached?”
…
When you were born.
There were people around you when you came out.
But inside of you, there was no ‘need’.
You were not attached.
You BECAME attached.
So the individual who has realized the effects of becoming attached will naturally spend more time alone.
Not with a “5-day silent retreat in Ubud, Bali to spiritually heal & awaken”.
Because when this retreat is checked off your ‘to-do list’, you get back to attaching yourself again.
The serious man or woman does not have a choice.
He/she has felt enough pain of attachment to:
• her boyfriend cheating
• his mother who passed away
• his company that went bankrupt
• her dog that went missing
This is the one who starts living in isolation.
Or maybe better said, realizes he/she is isolated all along…
Not like a monk in a dark, cold cave.
Although that is an option too.
Not like a hermit in a monastery.
Although that is a possibility too.
But for certain in isolation FROM the mind.
Which can be found in the Canadian forests or in a house full of people.
It may be harder…
It may be more difficult…
But the silence from detachment can be found everywhere if one is willing enough to look.
So if there is one thing to take away from all of this, it is this:
“Realize for yourself the positive and negative things, attachment brought in your life”
And ask yourself:
“Why do you attach yourself to people, stuff, and experiences in the first place?”
And when you see things through.
It becomes obvious and crystal clear that everyone around you is trapped.
Trapped in this often invisible cage of attachment to anyone and anything.
This might be the person who finds a way out.
Like Alice in Wonderland.
Talk soon.
Jordan
PS: here’s my poem about the essence of my message…
like Alice in Wonderland (a poem)
Like Alice in Wonderland,
Your Rabbit Hole goes deep, attachment still has the upper hand.
We cling to people and to things,
Hoping for comfort, the longing stings.
They say it’s simple, just let go,
But soon enough, new feelings grow.
To boyfriends, girlfriends, dogs and cats,
It’s WHY you need them, that keeps you trapped.
But those who preach the art of release,
May bring you hope, yet not bring peace.
For though their words may offer light,
The handcuffs of attachment still hold tight.
So listen not to those who say,
They hold the key to show the way.
Just like Alice in her Wonderland,
The key to detachment lies in your own hand.
You can watch the full video here:
PS: If you try to find the truth in a specific situation in your own life, but can’t seem to find it. Feel free to send me an email at [email protected] or DM me on social.
I don’t ask for money but only respond to serious people.
