“Am I trying to find the missing piece of the puzzle that doesn’t exist?”
“Am I trying to find a point in a sentence that has none?”
“Am I trying to solve a puzzle that can’t be solved?”
“Am I trying to make a point, in a life that is pointless?”
These are questions that became very acute the last 3 months after my grandma was dying.
Her funeral was 2 days ago.
I looked at her ‘lifeless’ body.
I looked closely for more than 30 minutes.
I was just trying to see.
See if I can understand death better.
See if I can find answers.
All I could see was a body.
A body that looked like her, but without the life in her.
Just a body.
Not a human.
After all a human is just a concept, is it not?
A concept in the sense of it just being a collection of parts.
The body part.
The living part.
But the ‘human’ cannot exist without the body.
And the ‘human’ cannot exist without the living.
This is why there was no human in the coffin in front of me.
Maybe I was trying to find the human in her body.
Maybe this is what we all do in life…
Trying to find something that isn’t there.
I mean,
What can be MORE significant than the significance of death?
What is more significant than dying?
Am I constantly running away from reality, until I can’t any longer?
Let me be honest with you.
At this point in my understanding (or lack of),
I still see significance in:
Becoming famous,
Becoming wealthy,
Becoming father,
Creating impact,
Being the best,
But isn’t this all an illusion?
A big illusion that helps me cope with the meaningless meaning in life?
A search for pleasure or an escape from the pain that does not have to be painful if I only saw it as reality?
It may befit you to read that again…
By the way, I am Jordan, 23 yrs old, did over $4M in Revenue,
Hired over 50 people and make videos on YouTube since 2012.
I share this because you have been conditioned to care about numbers…
That there is value in ‘more’…
That there is value in ‘better’…
Importance in ‘improvement’…
But this is all just ‘appearance’.
Everyone seems to be focused on external validation.
Motivitations outside themselves.
The car they drive.
The followers they have.
The countries they travelled.
All just appearance and not something that they want for internal reasons.
Which is understandable in a world full of conditioning.
But right now this feels unacceptable to me.
Maybe because I saw the downfall of my grandma.
Not being able to talk anymore…
Not being able to write anymore…
Not being able to eat anymore…
If death is inevitable, than what is the point of achievements?
What is the point in setting goals and working towards the future?
IF THERE IS NO FUTURE.
It will end some point.
Maybe at the pinnacle of my biggest achievement.
Maybe midway towards my next big goal.
Do I wait until I have fully realized that it doesn’t matter?
I wish I could say right now that I have fully understood that life is meaningless.
But IF I did, I would not feel stress anymore, right?
Do you see?
If memories will be gone.
And the future is not given.
Than all there is, is right now.
And now.
And now…
Is it better to return to living in this illusion that I can create meaningful things?
I am asking myself.
And at the same time asking you to think about it.
I may feel more pain right now than I did before.
I may feel more pain in getting closer to reality than I felt pleasure in my illusion.
Am I exchanging the short-term pain of understanding reality for the long-term pain of illusion?
What does come AFTER the full realization that life has no meaning?
Just staying alive?
Creating an illusion of purpose while knowing it is an illusion?
Just optimizing for pleasure > pain …?
Becoming the greatest in my field even though it does not have significance, because I will die and the people I know will die and eventually there may be people that haven’t been born that will learn about me in history class or space ship tube?
While being alive, trying to be better than others, even though it doesn’t matter?
Living in nature, without electronics, fully present living in the moment, from feeling extremely bored to possibly a state of ‘neutralness’?
Just doing and getting the things others deemed important?
If only there were answers to these questions.
Like Katsumoto said:
“The perfect blossom is a rare thing.
You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life.”
~ The Last Samurai
Should I spent my whole life trying to find the answers?
Or asking great questions?
Should I live every second as if I was the only human on earth?
Is the meaning of life, to give life a meaning?
I can keep asking questions.
So that’s what I keep doing.
Want to know the 5 traps in my and your life? Maybe you find this interesting.
Here’s my poem about the essence of this letter.
The pointless point of life (a poem)
Am I chasing shadows of achievements grand,
Fame, Money, Trophies and a house on sand,
In a world where time slips through my hand.
Where death’s cold embrace awaits us all,
Killing ambitions great and small.
Illusions crumble, truths unveil,
In the face of mortality, all dreams pale.
If the future is not given and holds no light,
Should I then cherish each moment, every sight?
For in life’s pointless point, do you agree,
That perhaps the greatest truth is to simply be?
You can watch the full message here:
PS: If you try to find the truth in a specific situation in your own life, but can’t seem to find it. Feel free to send me an email at [email protected] or DM me on social. I don’t ask for money but only respond to serious people.
